[boyfriend] who?

i never told you how i feel towards ur boyfriends. first of all, i will be cool to all of them cuz of course they will all make you.... temporarily... happy. and more
importantly, its YOUR business who you date. but don't mention marriage unless its been a while and u guys are serious. to me i just see a deeper slump that u're gonna fall into cuz you had that high expectation. it seems that each guy you come across you have an inner hope that he'll be the one and that hope only gets stronger the next time around which makes you that much more hurt. in between guys you are
really strong but it is just a paper shield that is torn down with just a little patience from a suitor.

I know u are lightly coming across the topic and may not have seriously thought about what u want to do with [your boyfriend] in particular, but let me fill you in on my thoughts:

MY JOB- is to really test a guy if he is going to take that extra step into our family. if he is going to come into our house, meet our family, and be a part of us then he better be worthy. no... we are not some long lineage of high society, nor do we have anything particularly special about us that merits an interview, but i am not going to waste my time, dad/mom/your time on some fucking tool that thinks ur the
hottest shit right now and will either not stay loyal to you or will turn into an asshole. lord help him if he lays a hand on you and you know where i think the lord is nowadays. I may not do much from over here, but that is going to change soon. and if he/anyone visits us over here, then that is just more waste of time. in the end, it is ur business. I will be respectful ...ish.... to almost anyone. but if they're coming into THIS family, they better have their head on straight. i know how easy we are to get along with (dad and I) so that makes me even more defensive. it doesn't take more than a few respectful manners to get by and i think that is just too easy. bottome line: don't expect me and dad to just give out hugs.

and to your future husband, whomever that may be, a word of advice: don't ever call my dad "Dad". That will get on MY bad side. I never got that and no i do not think that is appropriate.

__________

so have fun and i don't want to hear about this marriage non-sense. and what if i don't like him? i know it really doesn't matter but what if? i absolutely do not expect you to break up with a guy cuz me or dad does not like him. but would i really have to avoid seeing the prick? that would suck. I might just be honest and tell him to his face if i don't like him.


tell me about this guy. what is his job? what sports does he do? does he not like sports? has he ever gone to jail? has he ever been raped? did he like it? has he ever had sexual thoughts about another man before? is he a church going fellow? did his priest rape him? does he like fur coats? who would he vote for: hilary or obama? is he a tree hugger? does he like guns? if i smelled him, would i flinch? can he run
farther than dad? could he listen to dad's laugh and not burst into uncontrolled, histerical laughter himself? DOES HE KNOW MARTIAL MY-ARTS?? if so, what style and for how long? has he ever been to a McDojo? did you guys wrestle each other and he lost? are you serious? does he like dane cook? would you take him out to shoot archery...with dad... and he not complain? does he think we're hicks? is he useful
around the house? can he at least fix the car? is he rich? would he adopt me? WHAT'S HIS LAST NAME? if its stupid, can i make fun of it? would YOU make fun of it? would you lie to him and tell him it is not a stupid last name? does it have a
-son/-ton/-shire/-ham/-ocks/-ing/-thers suffix to it? if you told him that we have a deformed little brother named "sloth", that we used to keep in our basement, would he freak? if you asked him to, would he feed him a baby ruth candy bar?

these are the questions you should be asking. im just the one trying to see that this gets done. if he hesitates on any of that, then we may have a problem.

long letter, sorry. love you. and don't hand out invitations to a wedding so soon. he's got a long way to go.
Glenn