i never told you how i feel towards ur boyfriends. first of all, i will be cool to all of them cuz of course they will all make you.... temporarily... happy. and more
importantly, its YOUR business who you date. but don't mention marriage unless its been a while and u guys are serious. to me i just see a deeper slump that u're gonna fall into cuz you had that high expectation. it seems that each guy you come across you have an inner hope that he'll be the one and that hope only gets stronger the next time around which makes you that much more hurt. in between guys you are
really strong but it is just a paper shield that is torn down with just a little patience from a suitor.
I know u are lightly coming across the topic and may not have seriously thought about what u want to do with [your boyfriend] in particular, but let me fill you in on my thoughts:
MY JOB- is to really test a guy if he is going to take that extra step into our family. if he is going to come into our house, meet our family, and be a part of us then he better be worthy. no... we are not some long lineage of high society, nor do we have anything particularly special about us that merits an interview, but i am not going to waste my time, dad/mom/your time on some fucking tool that thinks ur the
hottest shit right now and will either not stay loyal to you or will turn into an asshole. lord help him if he lays a hand on you and you know where i think the lord is nowadays. I may not do much from over here, but that is going to change soon. and if he/anyone visits us over here, then that is just more waste of time. in the end, it is ur business. I will be respectful ...ish.... to almost anyone. but if they're coming into THIS family, they better have their head on straight. i know how easy we are to get along with (dad and I) so that makes me even more defensive. it doesn't take more than a few respectful manners to get by and i think that is just too easy. bottome line: don't expect me and dad to just give out hugs.
and to your future husband, whomever that may be, a word of advice: don't ever call my dad "Dad". That will get on MY bad side. I never got that and no i do not think that is appropriate.
__________
so have fun and i don't want to hear about this marriage non-sense. and what if i don't like him? i know it really doesn't matter but what if? i absolutely do not expect you to break up with a guy cuz me or dad does not like him. but would i really have to avoid seeing the prick? that would suck. I might just be honest and tell him to his face if i don't like him.
tell me about this guy. what is his job? what sports does he do? does he not like sports? has he ever gone to jail? has he ever been raped? did he like it? has he ever had sexual thoughts about another man before? is he a church going fellow? did his priest rape him? does he like fur coats? who would he vote for: hilary or obama? is he a tree hugger? does he like guns? if i smelled him, would i flinch? can he run
farther than dad? could he listen to dad's laugh and not burst into uncontrolled, histerical laughter himself? DOES HE KNOW MARTIAL MY-ARTS?? if so, what style and for how long? has he ever been to a McDojo? did you guys wrestle each other and he lost? are you serious? does he like dane cook? would you take him out to shoot archery...with dad... and he not complain? does he think we're hicks? is he useful
around the house? can he at least fix the car? is he rich? would he adopt me? WHAT'S HIS LAST NAME? if its stupid, can i make fun of it? would YOU make fun of it? would you lie to him and tell him it is not a stupid last name? does it have a
-son/-ton/-shire/-ham/-ocks/-ing/-thers suffix to it? if you told him that we have a deformed little brother named "sloth", that we used to keep in our basement, would he freak? if you asked him to, would he feed him a baby ruth candy bar?
these are the questions you should be asking. im just the one trying to see that this gets done. if he hesitates on any of that, then we may have a problem.
long letter, sorry. love you. and don't hand out invitations to a wedding so soon. he's got a long way to go.
Glenn
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER
yup. today's FYI is brought to you by "the flying spaghetti monster". a new RELIGION. (really long so grab a minute to read this.)
here is a copied piece from wikipedia:
The first public exposure of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and its eponymous deity can be dated to January 2005, when Bobby Henderson sent an open letter regarding the FSM to the Kansas Board of Education. The letter was sent prior to the Kansas "evolution" hearings as an argument against the teaching of intelligent design in science classes. Henderson stated that both his theory and intelligent design had equal validity; saying
"I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence."[2] Henderson explained, "I don't have a problem with religion. What I have a problem with is religion posing as science. If there is a god and he's
intelligent, then I would guess he has a sense of humor."[5]
The Board only responded after Henderson posted the letter on his website, gaining significant public interest.[6] Henderson subsequently published the responses[7] he received from board members.
As word of Henderson's challenge to the board spread, the website and Henderson's cause gathered more attention and support. The satiric nature of Henderson's argument made the Flying Spaghetti Monster popular with bloggers as well as humor and internet culture websites.[8] The site was featured on Sensible Erection on June 17, 2005,[9] and also on websites such as Boing Boing, Something Awful, Uncyclopedia and Fark.com. The mainstream media quickly picked up on the phenomenon as the Flying Spaghetti Monster became a symbol for the case against intelligent design theory in public education.[10][11][12] Henderson himself is surprised by its success, stating that he "wrote the letter for [his] own amusement as much as anything."[13]
In August 2005, in response to a challenge from a reader, BoingBoing.net announced a $250,000 challenge, later raised to $1,000,000, of "Intelligently Designed currency" by other bloggers, payable to any individual who could produce empirical evidence proving that Jesus is not the son of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, though Jesus is not a part of Pastafarianism.[14] The challenge is modelled after a similar challenge issued by young-Earth creationist Kent Hovind (an award of $250,000 to anyone who can prove evolution "is the only possible way" that the Universe and life arose) and James Randi's offer of $1,000,000 to anyone who can prove they have supernatural abilities.
BELIEFS
Henderson proposed many of the beliefs in reaction to common arguments by proponents of intelligent design.[15]
The canonical beliefs of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism are set forth by Henderson in the Open Letter,[2] the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and on Henderson's web site,[16] where he is described as a "prophet."
The central belief is that there is an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster, which created the entire universe "after drinking heavily."[13] All evidence for evolution was planted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, in an effort to test Pastafarians' faith; a form of the Omphalos hypothesis. When scientific measurements, such as radiocarbon dating, are made, the Flying Spaghetti Monster "is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage."[2]
The Pastafarian belief of heaven stresses that it contains beer volcanoes and a stripper factory.[17] Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale and the strippers have VD.[18]
The religious text of the Pastafarian religion is called the Loose Canon. In place of the Ten Commandments, it contains the Eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts, which is arguably a somewhat looser moral code.
The official conclusion to prayers is "RAmen", contained in certain sections of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and so on. It is a portmanteau of the Semitic term "Amen" (used in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) and Ramen, a noodle. While it is typically spelled with both a capital "R" and "A", it is also acceptable to spell it with only a capital R.
GOSPEL
[edit] Captain Mosey and the Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he can't find a pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain receives some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" by the FSM, the "Commandments" by Mosey, and the "Condiments" by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts", two were dropped on the way back down
the mountain, with eight remaining. This event "partly accounts for Pastafarians' flimsy moral standards". The FSM's commandments address the treatment of people of other faiths, worship of the FSM, sexual conduct, and nutrition.
[edit] The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject. I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.
I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, Okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is go f*** yourself, unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change. I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the b*******. I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodly goodness when the money
could be better spent (take your pick): Ending poverty, Curing diseases, Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator. I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love
your fellow man, can't you take a hint? I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of
leather/lubricant/Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.
[edit] Unintelligent Design
In the chapter "An Alternate Vision", the suggestion of "Unintelligent Design" is proposed. The argument is that because of all the problems in the world, the Flying Spaghetti Monster must have been drunk, careless, etc. when he first created life. A list of ten examples is given to support this, including such things as disco music, Jar Jar Binks, and the decline of passenger pigeons due to the popular McPidgin Sandwich sold at McDonald's.
Schneider and Frederick have recently proposed the first scientific proof of "Unintelligent Design" by claiming that the insertion of species Penne rigate into species Rigatone, order Pasta resulted in the creation of a new species of Noodleous doubleous. Schneider considered the only explanation is that this was caused by the holy Flying Spaghetti Monster, whose "noodly appendage intervened".
__________________________________
ok. that is hilarious and yet interesting how it reflects a truth. while EVERYONE knows he is joking about all those parts of the bible, if you look at the bible it isn't that much different except that it usesserious names for the same event but they are just serious about it. His 8 "things i'd really rather you didn'ts" are hilarious but its true: why do people follow certain humans who claim to be "talking" with the lord like they are special transmitters? humans are equal right? god chose them? give me a break. the church is the biggest con EVER. despite the shit from the dark ages people still choose to be ignorant lambs used for their design. politics and religion are one and the same. if the "big boys" can fool the masses and claim "the lord's will" or "be a patriot" then everyone will willingly attack and kill whomever they point their fingers at. think about that.
back to the FSM, i think it is a great arguement for any churchgoer that oversteps their bounds. like this guy henderson says: " i don't have a problem with religion. I do have a problem with religion posing as science."
again, although his FSM is rediculous, you cannot disprove it by modern science.
Look at it my way: if you know where science stops and religion starts, you have free reign to create any rediculous story you want without ever...EVER being disproven because it is impossible.
example, a bad situation: a car accident and someone gets seriously hurt or dies.
religious answer: it was destiny/ it was god's will.
example, a good situation: someone wins the lottery.
religious answer: it was destiny/ it was god's will.
do you see a pattern here? you can come up with anything AFTER THE FACT for these daily incidents. alls you have to do is make a story that everyone believes and then set it up so that any future event is covered by some rediculous, impossible to prove statements or beliefs.
I am seriously going to sport some of the FSM logos cuz i think it is a genius answer to all of the religious scientific explanations.
again, i do believe that religion has a place in creating peace in ONE'S MIND and to help make our communities a peaceful and joyful place but i do not agree on taking it to a serious formal level.
look this up if you have the chance and seek imput from others.
class dismissed.
love ya sis.
-Glenn
here is a copied piece from wikipedia:
The first public exposure of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and its eponymous deity can be dated to January 2005, when Bobby Henderson sent an open letter regarding the FSM to the Kansas Board of Education. The letter was sent prior to the Kansas "evolution" hearings as an argument against the teaching of intelligent design in science classes. Henderson stated that both his theory and intelligent design had equal validity; saying
"I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence."[2] Henderson explained, "I don't have a problem with religion. What I have a problem with is religion posing as science. If there is a god and he's
intelligent, then I would guess he has a sense of humor."[5]
The Board only responded after Henderson posted the letter on his website, gaining significant public interest.[6] Henderson subsequently published the responses[7] he received from board members.
As word of Henderson's challenge to the board spread, the website and Henderson's cause gathered more attention and support. The satiric nature of Henderson's argument made the Flying Spaghetti Monster popular with bloggers as well as humor and internet culture websites.[8] The site was featured on Sensible Erection on June 17, 2005,[9] and also on websites such as Boing Boing, Something Awful, Uncyclopedia and Fark.com. The mainstream media quickly picked up on the phenomenon as the Flying Spaghetti Monster became a symbol for the case against intelligent design theory in public education.[10][11][12] Henderson himself is surprised by its success, stating that he "wrote the letter for [his] own amusement as much as anything."[13]
In August 2005, in response to a challenge from a reader, BoingBoing.net announced a $250,000 challenge, later raised to $1,000,000, of "Intelligently Designed currency" by other bloggers, payable to any individual who could produce empirical evidence proving that Jesus is not the son of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, though Jesus is not a part of Pastafarianism.[14] The challenge is modelled after a similar challenge issued by young-Earth creationist Kent Hovind (an award of $250,000 to anyone who can prove evolution "is the only possible way" that the Universe and life arose) and James Randi's offer of $1,000,000 to anyone who can prove they have supernatural abilities.
BELIEFS
Henderson proposed many of the beliefs in reaction to common arguments by proponents of intelligent design.[15]
The canonical beliefs of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism are set forth by Henderson in the Open Letter,[2] the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and on Henderson's web site,[16] where he is described as a "prophet."
The central belief is that there is an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster, which created the entire universe "after drinking heavily."[13] All evidence for evolution was planted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, in an effort to test Pastafarians' faith; a form of the Omphalos hypothesis. When scientific measurements, such as radiocarbon dating, are made, the Flying Spaghetti Monster "is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage."[2]
The Pastafarian belief of heaven stresses that it contains beer volcanoes and a stripper factory.[17] Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale and the strippers have VD.[18]
The religious text of the Pastafarian religion is called the Loose Canon. In place of the Ten Commandments, it contains the Eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts, which is arguably a somewhat looser moral code.
The official conclusion to prayers is "RAmen", contained in certain sections of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and so on. It is a portmanteau of the Semitic term "Amen" (used in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) and Ramen, a noodle. While it is typically spelled with both a capital "R" and "A", it is also acceptable to spell it with only a capital R.
GOSPEL
[edit] Captain Mosey and the Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he can't find a pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain receives some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" by the FSM, the "Commandments" by Mosey, and the "Condiments" by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts", two were dropped on the way back down
the mountain, with eight remaining. This event "partly accounts for Pastafarians' flimsy moral standards". The FSM's commandments address the treatment of people of other faiths, worship of the FSM, sexual conduct, and nutrition.
[edit] The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject. I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.
I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, Okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is go f*** yourself, unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change. I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the b*******. I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodly goodness when the money
could be better spent (take your pick): Ending poverty, Curing diseases, Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator. I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love
your fellow man, can't you take a hint? I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of
leather/lubricant/Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.
[edit] Unintelligent Design
In the chapter "An Alternate Vision", the suggestion of "Unintelligent Design" is proposed. The argument is that because of all the problems in the world, the Flying Spaghetti Monster must have been drunk, careless, etc. when he first created life. A list of ten examples is given to support this, including such things as disco music, Jar Jar Binks, and the decline of passenger pigeons due to the popular McPidgin Sandwich sold at McDonald's.
Schneider and Frederick have recently proposed the first scientific proof of "Unintelligent Design" by claiming that the insertion of species Penne rigate into species Rigatone, order Pasta resulted in the creation of a new species of Noodleous doubleous. Schneider considered the only explanation is that this was caused by the holy Flying Spaghetti Monster, whose "noodly appendage intervened".
__________________________________
ok. that is hilarious and yet interesting how it reflects a truth. while EVERYONE knows he is joking about all those parts of the bible, if you look at the bible it isn't that much different except that it usesserious names for the same event but they are just serious about it. His 8 "things i'd really rather you didn'ts" are hilarious but its true: why do people follow certain humans who claim to be "talking" with the lord like they are special transmitters? humans are equal right? god chose them? give me a break. the church is the biggest con EVER. despite the shit from the dark ages people still choose to be ignorant lambs used for their design. politics and religion are one and the same. if the "big boys" can fool the masses and claim "the lord's will" or "be a patriot" then everyone will willingly attack and kill whomever they point their fingers at. think about that.
back to the FSM, i think it is a great arguement for any churchgoer that oversteps their bounds. like this guy henderson says: " i don't have a problem with religion. I do have a problem with religion posing as science."
again, although his FSM is rediculous, you cannot disprove it by modern science.
Look at it my way: if you know where science stops and religion starts, you have free reign to create any rediculous story you want without ever...EVER being disproven because it is impossible.
example, a bad situation: a car accident and someone gets seriously hurt or dies.
religious answer: it was destiny/ it was god's will.
example, a good situation: someone wins the lottery.
religious answer: it was destiny/ it was god's will.
do you see a pattern here? you can come up with anything AFTER THE FACT for these daily incidents. alls you have to do is make a story that everyone believes and then set it up so that any future event is covered by some rediculous, impossible to prove statements or beliefs.
I am seriously going to sport some of the FSM logos cuz i think it is a genius answer to all of the religious scientific explanations.
again, i do believe that religion has a place in creating peace in ONE'S MIND and to help make our communities a peaceful and joyful place but i do not agree on taking it to a serious formal level.
look this up if you have the chance and seek imput from others.
class dismissed.
love ya sis.
-Glenn
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