defined

SPIKED. (sp-EYE-kt).
-When the proposal of an idea, question, or suggested course of action (aka: "SET" or "BUMPED") to a higher authority or even to individuals in a position to make a decision on a course of action (secretary, inspector, instructor, boss, etc.) is immediately and (usually) violently/rudely rejected in such a way as to be taken as prejudice and disgust without prior provocation.
-Bottom line: Rejected most harshly and unnecessarily.

ex.1
WORKER: "Mr. Clark, I would like to make copies of these documents so we can provide better customer service and to make...."
BOSS: "NO! The copy machine is broken and you need to ask [secretary] which format it needs to be in first! *Tch* "

SPIKED!!

BOMBED. (buh-AW-m-ed)
-Addition to SPIKED. When proposed idea or suggestion is at first SPIKED and later found to be the correct course of action or beneficial idea that is utilized but is not credited to "Spike-ee" which adds additional "insult to injury".
-Bottom line: rejected, idea stolen, then made to look like moron.

ex2.
(resumed after ex.1)
BOSS: "Hey [team], I've got a good idea on how to provide better customer service and make policies more comprehensive with these new documents I've photo copied"

BOMBED!!

girlscouts....‏

Did dad tell you that we're gonna do some archery instruction for the girlscouts? yeah, I just hope we don't get shot. i can't wait till one of the archery guys breaks out in a horrid, traumatic story about how he almost died and had to skin a bear alive just to use its bloody fur to keep himself warm. I want to see the girlscouts faces as they look at him with big eyes swelling with tears just so I can interject at the end and ask everyone if they're ready to shoot some arrows at the bear target?? some will cry and I will just remind them that if they're cold then we can go FIND a jacket for them. ahahahahhahaha. money.

______________________________________


dude, I almost died!! everything was all fun and games until an arrow almost went through my chest! kinda. it was okay but the main problem was in their leadership: all mothers. and unfortunately those mothers were female. yes, it is a setback. casein point: we got them together to explain the safety and basic shooting tips and they couldn't help themselves to making sny comments and eventually, blatantly, and quite rudely gather in little cliques and start GOSSIPING. it was really stupid. but MY group (we broke them up into groups to teach more exact shooting techniques so they in turn can teach the little girls). stayed with it and had a lot of fun. they actually couldn't stop shooting and wanted to just tell the kids to enjoy their lunch so they could keep doing it. shooting for them was awkward at first but once you learned how to aim and hit the target it gets fun. so it was a success to dad and me because no one got hurt and everyone had fun.

it was interesting because I deal with marines who are disciplined and predominantly male so I wanted to see how some undisciplined, overweight ..WOMEN would pick this up. of course they were disinterested but there was more than enough motivation to pay attention: their young girls were going to be handling weapons!!

sotheyarealldumbbitchesandIhavelittletonorespectforthem. seriously. I know it takes a lot of energy to take care of a family....but it obviously doesn't take too much brain power or physical work.
if it did, these bitches would be hot mommas that were quick on the learning.
seriously makes the stereotype for gossiping women etched in stone. did they not have enough time to gossip at EVERY event in which they get together and even during their normal days while the husbands work? is thereTHAT much to talk about? fuck. they couldn't pay attention and participate in something for LI T E RAl Ly 3 minutes!!!! no kidding. they got into a little circle, sat down and started yapping. like it was the most organized thing I've seen in a long time. they were professional gossipers. they were even snapping pictures while me and dad were behind them telling them how to hold the bow (we didn't touch them in the slightest) and they were yelling "wait till ur husband sees this!". on the way home, me and dad were like "wtf was that about? could they not focus for one minute?" it was stupid. who would want to try to hit on their fat asses anyways? stupid bitches. it is a damn shame that kids are raised by those creatures. not all of them were completely retarded, mind you. the ones I worked with focused (cuz I didn't give them the time to screw around yet I was still interesting enough to make it fun). i deal with kids everyday too, its just that "my" kids are grown ass men that love to kill things. really turns me away from marriage.
men are dumb animals, period. but women turn into shallow, uninteresting, leech-like, gossipy creatures after they get married. I don't think you'll be like that cuz I'll be around to criticize and make sure you don't think that being stupid is okay.

its kinda bad, but I was thinking in my head as I was looking at these broads, "either the husband has to cheat a lot or these women give great head for them to remain married!". there is NO WAY I could remain attracted to ANY one of these ladies, let alone remain patient enough to put up with their mouths. why do you think men ruNN to the bar with their buddies? I'd drink myself into oblivion after trying to fuck something that looked like a human female and not some bovine that moos all day.


so how was your weekend?


I had dinner with sean and michi. i was explaining my theory of "the fall of manliness" in today's society. it is a pretty interesting topic. I'll write a long email about it next time. you could blog it for me. i basically think that today's man is being "pussified" by women and society. it isn't a new topic. many men have brought this up in the past but it suffers a particularly low point in today's generation. more on that next time.

SHITARIUS‏

Right, so here i am going about my normal day of trudging through idiots to find a glimpse of that elusive creature we lovingly refer to as "paycheck", and I get this pain in my ear. what, you ask, was hindering your sweetsweet silence of morning dew drops licking the inner feathers of chirping rat-pigeons oh mighty GLENN??

puckingHUMANS!!!

dudekay, I was just chillin outside and allofasudden these Mareeens are walkin towards me and disrupt my nature nirvana with
..."yeahman so I was just spankin it in my room and Staff Sergeant [whogivesafuck] inturupts me to announce chow time and tells me to change my grip for a better experience!!"

I'm like....Whiskey Tango Foxtrot???? can a guy get some silence without the constant thought of masturbation? jeez. I cant escape it at home and now I have to deal with it at work... from a different person?

weirdButsoanywaysyeah. wuts up with you? should you find yourself in a mood to start screaming, remember this: if your behind it, don't tell a donkey to "kick back" okay? he just might do it.

seriously, I intended that to be completely random but if you look at it, it translates to:
if your talking to someone that does something you don't want them to do... don't give them a reason to do it again!!


DAMN i'M GOOD!!!
shit I need to write a book, huh?

Im well on my way to becoming an old wise man. yeah marinate on that. your bro is going to be an old warrior sage.... that preys on teenage schoolgirls and beats up idiots.

its only 10am and I'm already stressed. I think I am going to get wasted tonight by myself. again. i'm glad that we have a 3 day weekend. i will spend it in front of my tv and perhaps try to hash out some drawings.

fuckmylife.

Love you.

hey.

I had a run in with your old friend "drama" this past weekend. helping some friends out with their marriage but took its toll on me. I feel like I carry the sins of everyone else and I'm left with this residual evil inside me. Kinda like Jesus but in a weird Froto way, ya know? haha. I'm trying to let my good nature shine through but its hard with shit caked all over said shinyness. i'm getting a 3 dollar raise (cuz I'm awesome) but i'm not feelin it cuz of all the shit I have to do here and all the crap that goes unnoticed. oh and BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH right? so Hi.

I'm being more and more random with people and i prolly come off as psycho or too awesome to fully comprehend. Like:
Customer: Good morning
GLENN: Only at night
Customer: ...uh..o.okay.... so can I please sign for these items
GLENN: if you take into account that your driver's license needs to be renewed before your next expiration date then it would be appropriate for you to acquire a document in which it is authorized for you to place your signature for it is only once a year your parents will endulge your desires for that new remote control car as long as your sister doesn't get jealous and smash it while your are asleep at which time it would be prudent to call your best friend and schedule a day for you two to go fishing in that you spin three times holding hands and laughing like the little girl that you locked in your closet when you were four and she suffocated but you didn't want to tell anyone so you just moved.

Customer: .. . .(O_O) .. .. . *cries silently*
GLENN: right? so just go away.


see? I'm losing it! (i don't know if i ever had "it" tho).

I just want to get away from this shit and do something that I want.
save me.

LOVE YOU!!!!

theGLENN

Avatar

...i'm gonna go see AVATAR tonight. I'm all excited. I'm gonna bring some lube...

___________________________


bah-humbug.

not a very merry christmas this year. i have a lot of complaints and a few happy things to hang on to and try to focus on. i saw avatar. it was impressive. i want to see it in 3d. its a good movie but the plot feels as if you've seen this movie before in a different, less awesome way. i think that is what will start killing movies off now-a-days cuz its hard to have an original, non predictable story and still maintain a certain fluidity and depth and not make it an overly random, weird european flick. that is why comic movies are now coming out cuz they've been around and are different in many ways. There's literally 75 years of writers constantly trying to be original and make their characters unique so hollywood has been tapping into that for the past 10 years. books are now gonna be the next resource to tap (harry potter, percy jones and the olympians, eragon, etc).

All said, I really enjoyed Avatar. the level of creativity is amazing and of course the graphics are mind blowing. I was actually more impressed with District 9's lighting effects and technology than with Avatar's. Dad would be all hyped cuz they have bows. I was all analyzing their techniques n stuff. I have better ideas on how indigenous peoples of an alien planet would hunt (using projectile weapons). Bows and Arrows are over used and no proper thought is given to origins and all that. So I am left with this feeling of, "I CAN DO BETTER!!" on many levels with plot, imagery, character design, and use of technology.

Just need a billionaire benefactor and I'll be all set.

Hope you have a great christmas.


Love you.

random thought/today's lecture

I looked up intelligence and IQ tests.
the reason why i looked up the subject of intelligence is that it struck me as odd that one's intelligence could be tested by ... a test. sounds weird, I know. I was even thinking about an IQ test (i've never taken one before) and guessed how it would be performed. I am assuming that it would be pointless to ask the participant dates, times, names, etc on the academic test level. That doesn't test one's "intelligence". As a standard the average person, when asked, would say that intelligence: "is how much information a person knows". usually. But truly, that isn't how smart a person really is. actually there is no universally accepted definition of intelligence. ....kinda like no one definition for GOD. anyways, I supported my theory of how an intelligence test should be/should not be conducted. think of this: do you think an average student that has a driver's license, a high school diploma, and a low level accountant job.... is more intelligent than ..say... a same age person of a jungle tribe community that cannot drive, use a computer, and hasn't read a book in his/her life?

if you don't get my point from that example let me further elaborate:

imagine .....eh.... Albert Einstein .... born in said tribe. then imagine some average douche that you or I may know and teach them the "average" things of our modern life. does that mean albert is no longer more intelligent than some average "monkey" taught to use tools? furthermore, do you think that genius relies upon what was taught and not ones own true abilities? That doesn't mean that I think a "tribal albert einstein" could still come up with the theory of relativity, but I think if we were to grow up under the exact same conditions his intelligence would shine through somehow.

conclusion: you cannot test a person's intelligence simply on their ability to read books. it DOES have a part in intelligence, however it should not be the basis for their smarts. so, next time you hear someone joke or are even serious when they use OVERinformation to describe something... doesn't mean they're intelligent. actually, my opinion: someone who knows all the extreme details of a given subject but is able to communicate only that which is necessary in order to have a successful dialog or accomplish a goal without confusion is a real smarty. a true intellectual should talk in a manner that they can be understood. everytime I watch a movie or *cringe* meet someone in real life that speaks in jargon that they know that no one else will understand to make themselves feel smarter makes me laugh. if they're so smart, why can't they communicate in simple terms or even make the information relevant to the subject at hand?

practical application: just watch people of "intelligence" and have an inner laugh if they can't use their gifts. more importantly, use this ramble as a way to notice these trends in people and perhaps alter your own actions and words.

It popped in my head when I watched a tv show and someone spit out their "IQ number" and I was curious how they got that number. turns out that number doesn't mean too much and isn't what you think it is. now, I find it humorous when someone says their number and it is generally an "oooh, you're smart" reaction. and those who have high IQs usually have the same demeanor and act in a stereotypical manner.
i read that even silly quizzes like "football iq", "sex iq", etc are WAY off on the proper useage. a single number could not measure such a complex thing as intelligence. i asked a few people what they think intelligence is and the majority said, "how much a person knows". I thought so too until I looked it up and pondered about it.

"Intelligence is an umbrella term used to describe a property of the mind that encompasses many related abilities, such as the capacities to reason, to plan, to solve problems, to think abstractly, to comprehend ideas, to use language, and to learn. There are several ways to define intelligence. In some cases, intelligence may include traits such as creativity, personality, character, knowledge, or wisdom. However there is no agreement on which traits define the phenomenon of intelligence agreed upon by a majority across the various concerned disciplines."


...now you know.

Determination

I want to share something I've recently learned about determination.

I know there are a handful of things I lack. Things that I am thankful that I can say that I have identified and am willing to work to fix. Most people don't find their shortcomings let alone are willing to "fix" them. The common phrase, "that's who I am" comes to mind often used in the wrong context. As in, you are constantly spitting on the ground no matter where your at, no matter how formal the event, no matter who is looking at you. VERSUS, you have a facial "tick" that is unconscious and a maybe physical health problem. Saying "that's who I am" to the former is not going to pass as Okay to your peers or anyone else because, whatever your habits, there is a time and place. Point of this part is to be willing to know what you need and be willing to fix it.
I was recently given a cd about determination. It is a religious cd and, to be honest, I don't care too much for the religious part of it. But I can empty my cup and see the underlying message. It is recorded by Joyce Meyer who happens to be known for having the largest ministry in the world, ran by a woman. Very interesting lady with a troubled upbringing. I knew what I needed to do before I heard this cd and actually it was part of my "steps" to get where I wanted to be. Not that it was a goal to get this particular cd but the overall motivational fuel to get the DETERMINATION level I wanted/needed. You don't need to believe in God/Buddha/Allah to hear the message which is why she is successful. She doesn't preach but more like "speaks". I think this is good for all for our self growth. I will tell you that I have personal big goals that I will take baby steps towards. But my point I want to share with you is that I think you should use this on a smaller personal level as well. Start off with yourself and be determined to improve yourself and your life. I would like to share this CD with you when you get here. It is VERY inspirational. I think more for me because it was the exact subject matter that I was looking for. It might come across as just an interesting and true thing to you but it hit me in the heart.. cuz it was something that I was desperate for. My lack of determination was a major setback for me. I have the ability for so much more but I am not operating at my full potential. NO ONE IS GOING TO COME ALONG AND FLIP A SWITCH! So damnit, I WILL DO IT FOR ME! i may go slow in the beginning just to get my focus points, but I will be running in no time. We all have shit that fucks with us. Why are people who are successful.. successful? Is it cuz they have less shit that stops them? I now believe it is a state of mind and we need to TAKE our goals no matter what. We all feel that we have other obligations. So did they. Some sacrifice everything for their success and some may argue that they are not happier once they've obtained their goals. There are many successes that are truly happy and didn't have to sacrifice their first borns to do it. Once we get it in our head that if that person can do it, then by the stars I can do it too. There will always be people/thoughts of doubt. We need to be stubborn in this area and DISREGARD that info. I am not promising success, but simply attempting to have a better state of mind and have more peace.

Maybe you'll feel like "...meh". but just know that I put my recommendation on it for all of us can learn about something we THINK we know about.

God will not save us. We need to save ourselves.

Love you.

skilllsss

Heyo,

I was just thinking of some skills I want to learn/brush up on. Maybe you can teach me some that you know and maybe I can teach you some that I know (that you want to learn). Or we can both learn.

I want to learn:
-how to fence (olympic style with a saber so if I ever pick one up you'll be scared)
-how to tie various (useful) knots. this skill is actually a life saver
-how to sail a boat
-how to be a stronger swimmer & scuba dive
-how to drive a motorcycle
-how to drive a stickshift better
-how to rock climb (not as easy as it looks apparently)
-how to throw a variety of bladed weapons
-how to gut a mammal and a fish PROPERLY (you're gonna need to eat so you might as well know how to gut it)
-how to protect a VIP/loved one bodygaurd style. seriously. it's not as simple as you think
-how to kill a man with a coffee cup. not kidding here either
-how to break someone's ribcage with my elbow..... wait I already know that one... um...
-how to cook adobo
-how to PROPERLY cook a steak chef style (apparently I'm supposed to use a temperature gauge??) and anything that is on a grill
-how to navigate in the wilderness with only a compass and a map (aka LANDNAV)
-how to build man traps (you never know)
-how to speak, read, and write in japanese
-how to speak, read, and write in spanish or french or portuguese or italian
-how to build a computer and program software
-how to build a simple cabin. i guess it isn't as simple as I thought
-how to pick a lock
-how to throw a spear... accurately
-how to collect water in the wild
-how to heal various ailments using basic household items
-how to kayak (sp?)
-how to get that neighbor to shut up

.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Genesis: God lies, "God" is plural, serpent told the truth, ... there are TWO trees!

Is what I wrote in the subject line ... blasphemous?

really?


Sorry to break it to you but.....

(my highlights in italics)

When God[3] began to create heaven and earth, and the earth then was welter and waste and darkness over the deep and God's breath hovering over the waters, God said, 'Let there be light.' and there was light"(Genesis chapter 1:3) [4]; the "firmament" separating "the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament;" dry land and seas and plants and trees which grew fruit with seed; the sun, moon and stars in the firmament; air-breathing sea creatures, fishes and birds; and on the sixth day, "the beasts of the earth according to their kinds." "Then God said, Let us make man in our image ... in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."[5] On Sabbath, God rests from the task of completing the heavens and the earth: "So God blessed the seventh day and hallowed it, because on it God rested from all his work which he had done in creation."

God forms Adam "from the dust of the ground...and man became a living being."[6] God sets the man in the Garden of Eden and permits him to eat of all the fruit within it, except that of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, "for in the day that you eat of it you shall die." God makes "every beast of the field and every bird of the air, ... and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name ... but for the man there was not found a helper fit for him." God causes the man to sleep, and makes a woman from one of his ribs, and the man awakes and names his companion Woman, "because she was taken out of Man."[7] "And the man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed."[8] The serpent tells the woman that she will not die if she eats the fruit of the tree: "When you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God,[9] knowing good and evil." So the woman eats and gives to the man who also eats. "Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves aprons." God curses the serpent: "upon your belly you shall go, and dust you shall eat all the days of your life;" the woman he punishes with pain in childbirth and with subordination to man: "your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you;" and the man he punishes with a life of toil: "In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread till you return to the ground." The man names his wife Eve,[10] "because she was the mother of all living". "Behold", says God, "the man has become like one of us, knowing good and evil," and expels the couple from Eden, "lest he put forth his hand and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever." The gate of Eden is sealed by a cherub and a flaming sword "to guard the way to the tree of life."[11]


Sooo...
1) "Then God said, let us make man in our image"
2) "God... permits him to eat of all the fruit... except that of the Tree of Knowledge"
3) " ... for in the day that you eat of it you shall die"
4) "The serpent tells the woman that she will not die if she eats the fruit of the tree: 'When you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.' "
5) God proceeds to punish the serpent, Adam, Eve, and kick them all out of the Garden of Eden.
6) God then proclaims how he doesn't want them to touch the tree of life or they will become immortal like THEM."

What is interesting is that this story is a copy of even more ancient texts. They all say the same thing. There are always trees, serpents, and holy land in all religions.

Marinate on that.

.. dude (part 2)

thanks for the advice.
i sold my soul to this company so I can't leave
if i leave my girlfriend she'll track me down and kill me
i tried to move but i end up here (twilight zone style)
i volunteer teaching karate... i hate kids
i go to work... its a far off place
every time i try to be alone, Glenn is with me!
solitude? I live in a cave, on a rock, in the middle of the ocean!
i spank the monk
i AM a ninja
..that's what that smell is
video games?... OH YEAH!
the judge says i can't draw until 2013
i don't think the internet wants to be "surfed"
consider it checked
...wait, she has a kitty? ...where the fuck is that located?

love ya so mush

.. dude

I'm stressed.
make me feel better. I have no one here to cheer me up. [my girlfriend] is stressin
me out and so is work. I'm in a hole right now. It is taking all of my patience and strength to just not lash out at everything and "suffer in silence". I feel my logic failing because people are illogical. I have this thought that somewhere in the world, people would listen/watch my peril and say, " yeah seriously, why is everyone messin with him? he is saying/ doing everything that makes sense but is still losing against retards". But I'm surrounded by said retards so >> I << look like the bad guy when I am showing more patience and sensitivity to others feelings
than that are showing to me. WTF?

check out the website "Fuck-my-life". Of course they spell "fuck" differently but it is just a collection of a few sentences each entry of how someones misfortune is actually quite amusing. It should be able to pick me up but I've been relying on it for a few weeks now and my stresses are becoming too great. just google it and enjoy.

see... even in my misery I'll provide you with a source of humor. Of course I am wallowing in my own misfortune for now. Maybe I should contribute my own story to make it fun for others.


anyways, just complaining. Check out that site.

love me.

[boyfriend] who?

i never told you how i feel towards ur boyfriends. first of all, i will be cool to all of them cuz of course they will all make you.... temporarily... happy. and more
importantly, its YOUR business who you date. but don't mention marriage unless its been a while and u guys are serious. to me i just see a deeper slump that u're gonna fall into cuz you had that high expectation. it seems that each guy you come across you have an inner hope that he'll be the one and that hope only gets stronger the next time around which makes you that much more hurt. in between guys you are
really strong but it is just a paper shield that is torn down with just a little patience from a suitor.

I know u are lightly coming across the topic and may not have seriously thought about what u want to do with [your boyfriend] in particular, but let me fill you in on my thoughts:

MY JOB- is to really test a guy if he is going to take that extra step into our family. if he is going to come into our house, meet our family, and be a part of us then he better be worthy. no... we are not some long lineage of high society, nor do we have anything particularly special about us that merits an interview, but i am not going to waste my time, dad/mom/your time on some fucking tool that thinks ur the
hottest shit right now and will either not stay loyal to you or will turn into an asshole. lord help him if he lays a hand on you and you know where i think the lord is nowadays. I may not do much from over here, but that is going to change soon. and if he/anyone visits us over here, then that is just more waste of time. in the end, it is ur business. I will be respectful ...ish.... to almost anyone. but if they're coming into THIS family, they better have their head on straight. i know how easy we are to get along with (dad and I) so that makes me even more defensive. it doesn't take more than a few respectful manners to get by and i think that is just too easy. bottome line: don't expect me and dad to just give out hugs.

and to your future husband, whomever that may be, a word of advice: don't ever call my dad "Dad". That will get on MY bad side. I never got that and no i do not think that is appropriate.

__________

so have fun and i don't want to hear about this marriage non-sense. and what if i don't like him? i know it really doesn't matter but what if? i absolutely do not expect you to break up with a guy cuz me or dad does not like him. but would i really have to avoid seeing the prick? that would suck. I might just be honest and tell him to his face if i don't like him.


tell me about this guy. what is his job? what sports does he do? does he not like sports? has he ever gone to jail? has he ever been raped? did he like it? has he ever had sexual thoughts about another man before? is he a church going fellow? did his priest rape him? does he like fur coats? who would he vote for: hilary or obama? is he a tree hugger? does he like guns? if i smelled him, would i flinch? can he run
farther than dad? could he listen to dad's laugh and not burst into uncontrolled, histerical laughter himself? DOES HE KNOW MARTIAL MY-ARTS?? if so, what style and for how long? has he ever been to a McDojo? did you guys wrestle each other and he lost? are you serious? does he like dane cook? would you take him out to shoot archery...with dad... and he not complain? does he think we're hicks? is he useful
around the house? can he at least fix the car? is he rich? would he adopt me? WHAT'S HIS LAST NAME? if its stupid, can i make fun of it? would YOU make fun of it? would you lie to him and tell him it is not a stupid last name? does it have a
-son/-ton/-shire/-ham/-ocks/-ing/-thers suffix to it? if you told him that we have a deformed little brother named "sloth", that we used to keep in our basement, would he freak? if you asked him to, would he feed him a baby ruth candy bar?

these are the questions you should be asking. im just the one trying to see that this gets done. if he hesitates on any of that, then we may have a problem.

long letter, sorry. love you. and don't hand out invitations to a wedding so soon. he's got a long way to go.
Glenn

FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER

yup. today's FYI is brought to you by "the flying spaghetti monster". a new RELIGION. (really long so grab a minute to read this.)

here is a copied piece from wikipedia:

The first public exposure of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and its eponymous deity can be dated to January 2005, when Bobby Henderson sent an open letter regarding the FSM to the Kansas Board of Education. The letter was sent prior to the Kansas "evolution" hearings as an argument against the teaching of intelligent design in science classes. Henderson stated that both his theory and intelligent design had equal validity; saying

"I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence."[2] Henderson explained, "I don't have a problem with religion. What I have a problem with is religion posing as science. If there is a god and he's
intelligent, then I would guess he has a sense of humor."[5]

The Board only responded after Henderson posted the letter on his website, gaining significant public interest.[6] Henderson subsequently published the responses[7] he received from board members.

As word of Henderson's challenge to the board spread, the website and Henderson's cause gathered more attention and support. The satiric nature of Henderson's argument made the Flying Spaghetti Monster popular with bloggers as well as humor and internet culture websites.[8] The site was featured on Sensible Erection on June 17, 2005,[9] and also on websites such as Boing Boing, Something Awful, Uncyclopedia and Fark.com. The mainstream media quickly picked up on the phenomenon as the Flying Spaghetti Monster became a symbol for the case against intelligent design theory in public education.[10][11][12] Henderson himself is surprised by its success, stating that he "wrote the letter for [his] own amusement as much as anything."[13]

In August 2005, in response to a challenge from a reader, BoingBoing.net announced a $250,000 challenge, later raised to $1,000,000, of "Intelligently Designed currency" by other bloggers, payable to any individual who could produce empirical evidence proving that Jesus is not the son of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, though Jesus is not a part of Pastafarianism.[14] The challenge is modelled after a similar challenge issued by young-Earth creationist Kent Hovind (an award of $250,000 to anyone who can prove evolution "is the only possible way" that the Universe and life arose) and James Randi's offer of $1,000,000 to anyone who can prove they have supernatural abilities.


BELIEFS
Henderson proposed many of the beliefs in reaction to common arguments by proponents of intelligent design.[15]

The canonical beliefs of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism are set forth by Henderson in the Open Letter,[2] the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and on Henderson's web site,[16] where he is described as a "prophet."

The central belief is that there is an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster, which created the entire universe "after drinking heavily."[13] All evidence for evolution was planted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, in an effort to test Pastafarians' faith; a form of the Omphalos hypothesis. When scientific measurements, such as radiocarbon dating, are made, the Flying Spaghetti Monster "is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage."[2]

The Pastafarian belief of heaven stresses that it contains beer volcanoes and a stripper factory.[17] Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale and the strippers have VD.[18]

The religious text of the Pastafarian religion is called the Loose Canon. In place of the Ten Commandments, it contains the Eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts, which is arguably a somewhat looser moral code.

The official conclusion to prayers is "RAmen", contained in certain sections of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and so on. It is a portmanteau of the Semitic term "Amen" (used in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) and Ramen, a noodle. While it is typically spelled with both a capital "R" and "A", it is also acceptable to spell it with only a capital R.

GOSPEL
[edit] Captain Mosey and the Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he can't find a pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain receives some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" by the FSM, the "Commandments" by Mosey, and the "Condiments" by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts", two were dropped on the way back down
the mountain, with eight remaining. This event "partly accounts for Pastafarians' flimsy moral standards". The FSM's commandments address the treatment of people of other faiths, worship of the FSM, sexual conduct, and nutrition.


[edit] The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject. I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.

I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, Okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is go f*** yourself, unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change. I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the b*******. I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodly goodness when the money
could be better spent (take your pick): Ending poverty, Curing diseases, Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator. I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love
your fellow man, can't you take a hint? I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of
leather/lubricant/Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.


[edit] Unintelligent Design
In the chapter "An Alternate Vision", the suggestion of "Unintelligent Design" is proposed. The argument is that because of all the problems in the world, the Flying Spaghetti Monster must have been drunk, careless, etc. when he first created life. A list of ten examples is given to support this, including such things as disco music, Jar Jar Binks, and the decline of passenger pigeons due to the popular McPidgin Sandwich sold at McDonald's.

Schneider and Frederick have recently proposed the first scientific proof of "Unintelligent Design" by claiming that the insertion of species Penne rigate into species Rigatone, order Pasta resulted in the creation of a new species of Noodleous doubleous. Schneider considered the only explanation is that this was caused by the holy Flying Spaghetti Monster, whose "noodly appendage intervened".

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ok. that is hilarious and yet interesting how it reflects a truth. while EVERYONE knows he is joking about all those parts of the bible, if you look at the bible it isn't that much different except that it usesserious names for the same event but they are just serious about it. His 8 "things i'd really rather you didn'ts" are hilarious but its true: why do people follow certain humans who claim to be "talking" with the lord like they are special transmitters? humans are equal right? god chose them? give me a break. the church is the biggest con EVER. despite the shit from the dark ages people still choose to be ignorant lambs used for their design. politics and religion are one and the same. if the "big boys" can fool the masses and claim "the lord's will" or "be a patriot" then everyone will willingly attack and kill whomever they point their fingers at. think about that.

back to the FSM, i think it is a great arguement for any churchgoer that oversteps their bounds. like this guy henderson says: " i don't have a problem with religion. I do have a problem with religion posing as science."
again, although his FSM is rediculous, you cannot disprove it by modern science.

Look at it my way: if you know where science stops and religion starts, you have free reign to create any rediculous story you want without ever...EVER being disproven because it is impossible.

example, a bad situation: a car accident and someone gets seriously hurt or dies.
religious answer: it was destiny/ it was god's will.

example, a good situation: someone wins the lottery.
religious answer: it was destiny/ it was god's will.

do you see a pattern here? you can come up with anything AFTER THE FACT for these daily incidents. alls you have to do is make a story that everyone believes and then set it up so that any future event is covered by some rediculous, impossible to prove statements or beliefs.

I am seriously going to sport some of the FSM logos cuz i think it is a genius answer to all of the religious scientific explanations.

again, i do believe that religion has a place in creating peace in ONE'S MIND and to help make our communities a peaceful and joyful place but i do not agree on taking it to a serious formal level.

look this up if you have the chance and seek imput from others.

class dismissed.

love ya sis.
-Glenn