Is what I wrote in the subject line ... blasphemous?
really?
Sorry to break it to you but.....
(my highlights in italics)
When God[3] began to create heaven and earth, and the earth then was welter and waste and darkness over the deep and God's breath hovering over the waters, God said, 'Let there be light.' and there was light"(Genesis chapter 1:3) [4]; the "firmament" separating "the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament;" dry land and seas and plants and trees which grew fruit with seed; the sun, moon and stars in the firmament; air-breathing sea creatures, fishes and birds; and on the sixth day, "the beasts of the earth according to their kinds." "Then God said, Let us make man in our image ... in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."[5] On Sabbath, God rests from the task of completing the heavens and the earth: "So God blessed the seventh day and hallowed it, because on it God rested from all his work which he had done in creation."
God forms Adam "from the dust of the ground...and man became a living being."[6] God sets the man in the Garden of Eden and permits him to eat of all the fruit within it, except that of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, "for in the day that you eat of it you shall die." God makes "every beast of the field and every bird of the air, ... and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name ... but for the man there was not found a helper fit for him." God causes the man to sleep, and makes a woman from one of his ribs, and the man awakes and names his companion Woman, "because she was taken out of Man."[7] "And the man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed."[8] The serpent tells the woman that she will not die if she eats the fruit of the tree: "When you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God,[9] knowing good and evil." So the woman eats and gives to the man who also eats. "Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves aprons." God curses the serpent: "upon your belly you shall go, and dust you shall eat all the days of your life;" the woman he punishes with pain in childbirth and with subordination to man: "your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you;" and the man he punishes with a life of toil: "In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread till you return to the ground." The man names his wife Eve,[10] "because she was the mother of all living". "Behold", says God, "the man has become like one of us, knowing good and evil," and expels the couple from Eden, "lest he put forth his hand and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever." The gate of Eden is sealed by a cherub and a flaming sword "to guard the way to the tree of life."[11]
Sooo...
1) "Then God said, let us make man in our image"
2) "God... permits him to eat of all the fruit... except that of the Tree of Knowledge"
3) " ... for in the day that you eat of it you shall die"
4) "The serpent tells the woman that she will not die if she eats the fruit of the tree: 'When you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.' "
5) God proceeds to punish the serpent, Adam, Eve, and kick them all out of the Garden of Eden.
6) God then proclaims how he doesn't want them to touch the tree of life or they will become immortal like THEM."
What is interesting is that this story is a copy of even more ancient texts. They all say the same thing. There are always trees, serpents, and holy land in all religions.
Marinate on that.
Showing posts with label god lies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label god lies. Show all posts
Monday, June 1, 2009
Sunday, October 14, 2007
FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER
yup. today's FYI is brought to you by "the flying spaghetti monster". a new RELIGION. (really long so grab a minute to read this.)
here is a copied piece from wikipedia:
The first public exposure of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and its eponymous deity can be dated to January 2005, when Bobby Henderson sent an open letter regarding the FSM to the Kansas Board of Education. The letter was sent prior to the Kansas "evolution" hearings as an argument against the teaching of intelligent design in science classes. Henderson stated that both his theory and intelligent design had equal validity; saying
"I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence."[2] Henderson explained, "I don't have a problem with religion. What I have a problem with is religion posing as science. If there is a god and he's
intelligent, then I would guess he has a sense of humor."[5]
The Board only responded after Henderson posted the letter on his website, gaining significant public interest.[6] Henderson subsequently published the responses[7] he received from board members.
As word of Henderson's challenge to the board spread, the website and Henderson's cause gathered more attention and support. The satiric nature of Henderson's argument made the Flying Spaghetti Monster popular with bloggers as well as humor and internet culture websites.[8] The site was featured on Sensible Erection on June 17, 2005,[9] and also on websites such as Boing Boing, Something Awful, Uncyclopedia and Fark.com. The mainstream media quickly picked up on the phenomenon as the Flying Spaghetti Monster became a symbol for the case against intelligent design theory in public education.[10][11][12] Henderson himself is surprised by its success, stating that he "wrote the letter for [his] own amusement as much as anything."[13]
In August 2005, in response to a challenge from a reader, BoingBoing.net announced a $250,000 challenge, later raised to $1,000,000, of "Intelligently Designed currency" by other bloggers, payable to any individual who could produce empirical evidence proving that Jesus is not the son of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, though Jesus is not a part of Pastafarianism.[14] The challenge is modelled after a similar challenge issued by young-Earth creationist Kent Hovind (an award of $250,000 to anyone who can prove evolution "is the only possible way" that the Universe and life arose) and James Randi's offer of $1,000,000 to anyone who can prove they have supernatural abilities.
BELIEFS
Henderson proposed many of the beliefs in reaction to common arguments by proponents of intelligent design.[15]
The canonical beliefs of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism are set forth by Henderson in the Open Letter,[2] the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and on Henderson's web site,[16] where he is described as a "prophet."
The central belief is that there is an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster, which created the entire universe "after drinking heavily."[13] All evidence for evolution was planted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, in an effort to test Pastafarians' faith; a form of the Omphalos hypothesis. When scientific measurements, such as radiocarbon dating, are made, the Flying Spaghetti Monster "is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage."[2]
The Pastafarian belief of heaven stresses that it contains beer volcanoes and a stripper factory.[17] Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale and the strippers have VD.[18]
The religious text of the Pastafarian religion is called the Loose Canon. In place of the Ten Commandments, it contains the Eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts, which is arguably a somewhat looser moral code.
The official conclusion to prayers is "RAmen", contained in certain sections of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and so on. It is a portmanteau of the Semitic term "Amen" (used in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) and Ramen, a noodle. While it is typically spelled with both a capital "R" and "A", it is also acceptable to spell it with only a capital R.
GOSPEL
[edit] Captain Mosey and the Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he can't find a pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain receives some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" by the FSM, the "Commandments" by Mosey, and the "Condiments" by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts", two were dropped on the way back down
the mountain, with eight remaining. This event "partly accounts for Pastafarians' flimsy moral standards". The FSM's commandments address the treatment of people of other faiths, worship of the FSM, sexual conduct, and nutrition.
[edit] The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject. I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.
I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, Okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is go f*** yourself, unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change. I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the b*******. I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodly goodness when the money
could be better spent (take your pick): Ending poverty, Curing diseases, Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator. I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love
your fellow man, can't you take a hint? I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of
leather/lubricant/Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.
[edit] Unintelligent Design
In the chapter "An Alternate Vision", the suggestion of "Unintelligent Design" is proposed. The argument is that because of all the problems in the world, the Flying Spaghetti Monster must have been drunk, careless, etc. when he first created life. A list of ten examples is given to support this, including such things as disco music, Jar Jar Binks, and the decline of passenger pigeons due to the popular McPidgin Sandwich sold at McDonald's.
Schneider and Frederick have recently proposed the first scientific proof of "Unintelligent Design" by claiming that the insertion of species Penne rigate into species Rigatone, order Pasta resulted in the creation of a new species of Noodleous doubleous. Schneider considered the only explanation is that this was caused by the holy Flying Spaghetti Monster, whose "noodly appendage intervened".
__________________________________
ok. that is hilarious and yet interesting how it reflects a truth. while EVERYONE knows he is joking about all those parts of the bible, if you look at the bible it isn't that much different except that it usesserious names for the same event but they are just serious about it. His 8 "things i'd really rather you didn'ts" are hilarious but its true: why do people follow certain humans who claim to be "talking" with the lord like they are special transmitters? humans are equal right? god chose them? give me a break. the church is the biggest con EVER. despite the shit from the dark ages people still choose to be ignorant lambs used for their design. politics and religion are one and the same. if the "big boys" can fool the masses and claim "the lord's will" or "be a patriot" then everyone will willingly attack and kill whomever they point their fingers at. think about that.
back to the FSM, i think it is a great arguement for any churchgoer that oversteps their bounds. like this guy henderson says: " i don't have a problem with religion. I do have a problem with religion posing as science."
again, although his FSM is rediculous, you cannot disprove it by modern science.
Look at it my way: if you know where science stops and religion starts, you have free reign to create any rediculous story you want without ever...EVER being disproven because it is impossible.
example, a bad situation: a car accident and someone gets seriously hurt or dies.
religious answer: it was destiny/ it was god's will.
example, a good situation: someone wins the lottery.
religious answer: it was destiny/ it was god's will.
do you see a pattern here? you can come up with anything AFTER THE FACT for these daily incidents. alls you have to do is make a story that everyone believes and then set it up so that any future event is covered by some rediculous, impossible to prove statements or beliefs.
I am seriously going to sport some of the FSM logos cuz i think it is a genius answer to all of the religious scientific explanations.
again, i do believe that religion has a place in creating peace in ONE'S MIND and to help make our communities a peaceful and joyful place but i do not agree on taking it to a serious formal level.
look this up if you have the chance and seek imput from others.
class dismissed.
love ya sis.
-Glenn
here is a copied piece from wikipedia:
The first public exposure of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and its eponymous deity can be dated to January 2005, when Bobby Henderson sent an open letter regarding the FSM to the Kansas Board of Education. The letter was sent prior to the Kansas "evolution" hearings as an argument against the teaching of intelligent design in science classes. Henderson stated that both his theory and intelligent design had equal validity; saying
"I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence."[2] Henderson explained, "I don't have a problem with religion. What I have a problem with is religion posing as science. If there is a god and he's
intelligent, then I would guess he has a sense of humor."[5]
The Board only responded after Henderson posted the letter on his website, gaining significant public interest.[6] Henderson subsequently published the responses[7] he received from board members.
As word of Henderson's challenge to the board spread, the website and Henderson's cause gathered more attention and support. The satiric nature of Henderson's argument made the Flying Spaghetti Monster popular with bloggers as well as humor and internet culture websites.[8] The site was featured on Sensible Erection on June 17, 2005,[9] and also on websites such as Boing Boing, Something Awful, Uncyclopedia and Fark.com. The mainstream media quickly picked up on the phenomenon as the Flying Spaghetti Monster became a symbol for the case against intelligent design theory in public education.[10][11][12] Henderson himself is surprised by its success, stating that he "wrote the letter for [his] own amusement as much as anything."[13]
In August 2005, in response to a challenge from a reader, BoingBoing.net announced a $250,000 challenge, later raised to $1,000,000, of "Intelligently Designed currency" by other bloggers, payable to any individual who could produce empirical evidence proving that Jesus is not the son of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, though Jesus is not a part of Pastafarianism.[14] The challenge is modelled after a similar challenge issued by young-Earth creationist Kent Hovind (an award of $250,000 to anyone who can prove evolution "is the only possible way" that the Universe and life arose) and James Randi's offer of $1,000,000 to anyone who can prove they have supernatural abilities.
BELIEFS
Henderson proposed many of the beliefs in reaction to common arguments by proponents of intelligent design.[15]
The canonical beliefs of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism are set forth by Henderson in the Open Letter,[2] the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and on Henderson's web site,[16] where he is described as a "prophet."
The central belief is that there is an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster, which created the entire universe "after drinking heavily."[13] All evidence for evolution was planted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, in an effort to test Pastafarians' faith; a form of the Omphalos hypothesis. When scientific measurements, such as radiocarbon dating, are made, the Flying Spaghetti Monster "is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage."[2]
The Pastafarian belief of heaven stresses that it contains beer volcanoes and a stripper factory.[17] Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale and the strippers have VD.[18]
The religious text of the Pastafarian religion is called the Loose Canon. In place of the Ten Commandments, it contains the Eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts, which is arguably a somewhat looser moral code.
The official conclusion to prayers is "RAmen", contained in certain sections of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and so on. It is a portmanteau of the Semitic term "Amen" (used in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) and Ramen, a noodle. While it is typically spelled with both a capital "R" and "A", it is also acceptable to spell it with only a capital R.
GOSPEL
[edit] Captain Mosey and the Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he can't find a pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain receives some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" by the FSM, the "Commandments" by Mosey, and the "Condiments" by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts", two were dropped on the way back down
the mountain, with eight remaining. This event "partly accounts for Pastafarians' flimsy moral standards". The FSM's commandments address the treatment of people of other faiths, worship of the FSM, sexual conduct, and nutrition.
[edit] The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject. I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.
I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, Okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is go f*** yourself, unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change. I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the b*******. I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodly goodness when the money
could be better spent (take your pick): Ending poverty, Curing diseases, Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator. I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love
your fellow man, can't you take a hint? I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of
leather/lubricant/Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.
[edit] Unintelligent Design
In the chapter "An Alternate Vision", the suggestion of "Unintelligent Design" is proposed. The argument is that because of all the problems in the world, the Flying Spaghetti Monster must have been drunk, careless, etc. when he first created life. A list of ten examples is given to support this, including such things as disco music, Jar Jar Binks, and the decline of passenger pigeons due to the popular McPidgin Sandwich sold at McDonald's.
Schneider and Frederick have recently proposed the first scientific proof of "Unintelligent Design" by claiming that the insertion of species Penne rigate into species Rigatone, order Pasta resulted in the creation of a new species of Noodleous doubleous. Schneider considered the only explanation is that this was caused by the holy Flying Spaghetti Monster, whose "noodly appendage intervened".
__________________________________
ok. that is hilarious and yet interesting how it reflects a truth. while EVERYONE knows he is joking about all those parts of the bible, if you look at the bible it isn't that much different except that it usesserious names for the same event but they are just serious about it. His 8 "things i'd really rather you didn'ts" are hilarious but its true: why do people follow certain humans who claim to be "talking" with the lord like they are special transmitters? humans are equal right? god chose them? give me a break. the church is the biggest con EVER. despite the shit from the dark ages people still choose to be ignorant lambs used for their design. politics and religion are one and the same. if the "big boys" can fool the masses and claim "the lord's will" or "be a patriot" then everyone will willingly attack and kill whomever they point their fingers at. think about that.
back to the FSM, i think it is a great arguement for any churchgoer that oversteps their bounds. like this guy henderson says: " i don't have a problem with religion. I do have a problem with religion posing as science."
again, although his FSM is rediculous, you cannot disprove it by modern science.
Look at it my way: if you know where science stops and religion starts, you have free reign to create any rediculous story you want without ever...EVER being disproven because it is impossible.
example, a bad situation: a car accident and someone gets seriously hurt or dies.
religious answer: it was destiny/ it was god's will.
example, a good situation: someone wins the lottery.
religious answer: it was destiny/ it was god's will.
do you see a pattern here? you can come up with anything AFTER THE FACT for these daily incidents. alls you have to do is make a story that everyone believes and then set it up so that any future event is covered by some rediculous, impossible to prove statements or beliefs.
I am seriously going to sport some of the FSM logos cuz i think it is a genius answer to all of the religious scientific explanations.
again, i do believe that religion has a place in creating peace in ONE'S MIND and to help make our communities a peaceful and joyful place but i do not agree on taking it to a serious formal level.
look this up if you have the chance and seek imput from others.
class dismissed.
love ya sis.
-Glenn
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)